Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Double the Fun?

Question: What can go from calm to crazy in less than sixty seconds?

Answer: A Penga who just had her toilet bowl of planning flushed unceremoniously down the drain.

It started with a rubber kickball. At the feet of some random kid, it flew up to the ceiling of a certain gymnasium, cracking a tile.

And now our second reception venue is no longer free. And that being the last of several triggers, our at-home party has morphed from a fifty-person, laid-back, picture-perusing, pizza-eating, pinata-poking afternoon of fun - into a two-hundred-fifty person, full-on traditional Chinese wedding banquet.

Whoa. How did that happen? Your guess is as good as mine.

All I know is that now, as Penga-Mom happily puts it, I "get to have TWO weddings!"

Yes. Two weddings. With another set of wedding invitations. With another round of guests I don't really know. With another set of decorations to consider. With another needed budget.

I'm still balking over the idea, honestly. Mostly about the budget part. Although Sak and I can probably afford it, we did not plan this out beforehand. But I can see what's happening.

War of the weddings.

You see, choosing to have a destination wedding (even if it's only a half-destination!) is inevitably going to upset someone that cannot come. That's just how it is. I don't know how many times I've heard the grumpy words - "why can't you just have your wedding here". And as frustrating as it is to hear displeasure at one's well-thought plans, I understand. It upsets me just as much that those guests can't be there. So this at-home party - it has to be big and grand so that no one feels like they missed out on the whole Hawaii-thing. It has to be just as important, because the people that couldn't be there are just as important.

Is this perhaps flawed reasoning? Of course. Am I upset that my family members care more about this banquet than they do of my actual wedding? Of course. Is there no way in heck I want to worry about DIY decorations and response cards right after coming back from our honeymoon? Of course. Is Sak completely livid at the idea of not being able to revert to our former, less-stressful lifestyle upon our return? Of course.

But Sak and I talked it out, and we came to the agreement that we can, and should, do this - if for no one else than for my grandmother, who has supported us through this entire planning process. She even gifted us our sewing machine, which has become an integral, iconic, and well-cherished member of our daily lives. It pains me that she cannot come to Hawaii - so if a big, family reunion is what she'd prefer, then by all means, she will have it.

I guess this just serves as a reminder that I need to keep my mind open, and my plans (somewhat) flexible. You never know when an errant inflatable ball will smack you upside the head and send you back to square one. That people are actually looking forward to partying with us upon our return is cause for my sincere gratitude, in any case. And luckily, the banquet idea is slowly starting to grow on me. I love Chinese food. Mmm.

So now I just need to find a San Jose Chinese banquet restaurant for 250 or more, sometime in the month of October. Any ideas?

Have you had any of our wedding plans turned completely on end? How did you react?


  1. San Jose Chinese banquet restaurant seems easy enough. :-P Easier than finding a free reception hall. :-P Wha. 250 ppl will be spendy tho! :o\ But they do take care of everything from food to plates to chairs and stuff. Could your family help pay for it if they're so insistent on it?

  2. Oy. Life just has a way of going crazy, doesn't it? At least doing it for your grandmother is a solid reason. Wow.

  3. I'm going to say this once: You are crazy.

    I think you should do what you two want to do and do not feel guilty if people do not want to share in your day as originally planned. Maybe I'm not romantic but the idea of two weddings would give me nightmares. I will be the happiest person in the world June 2nd on the 17 hour flight to my honeymoon... it will mean no more wedding planning, FOREVER!

  4. I feel your pain, lady. We aren't having a destination wedding, but we are having a Catholic-Hindu fusion wedding, with people on each side having strong opinions about how the whole thing should be. It's been stressful and the idea of having two separate weddings definitely popped up more than once. Hang in there, and I'm glad that you and Sak came to an agreement about this.

    And you are the Queen of DIY and all, but you could always buy some invitations from etsy this time around ;)

  5. @alvina - yeah, i was thinking at least i wouldnt have to clean up anything! but you're right about it being costly. i called around to see if they'd let me make menu substitutions on some of the pricier dishes, but most places wouldn't let me. grr. i think i need to say "family reunion" instead of the w-word.
    @hannah & ash - yes, i do feel crazy! and im trying to push off as much "planning" to my family for this one. no DIY for this one, i think i'd go insane!
    @ppg - i knew you'd understand, your huge guestlist amazes me! i don't know how you do it! but yeah, for sure...we already started buying packs of pre-made michael's invites with 40% off coupons, lol.

  6. Wow! What a curve ball! Sounds like the two of you are handling well and figuring out what can work for you. We have a large wedding too and it has been challenging dealing with the different parental expectations. Unfortunately its not as easy as saying "just do what you want" because there are others involved who consider this day important too. Good luck with it all. I know you can do it!

  7. Oh and congrats on your win! Hope it cheers you up :)