Sunday, June 13, 2010

Numbers and Notes

Planning a destination wedding? Well, there's one thing they always tell you - be prepared for many "declines". Obviously, it's not easy for people to just jump on a plane and romp on some island for a week.

I guess it's good advice, since our wedding is no exception to the general rule. Here's the numbers:

Egads! Only 40% of our loved ones are actually coming!

At first, I was irrationally upset. Every "no" RSVP depressed me, and it got to the point where Sak would have to open the envelopes - I couldn't stand to see the bad news. The declines, in conjunction with the "why are you having your wedding there" statements, felt like personal "I don't care about you" messages. And it hurt.

However, with time and Sak's ever-rational explanations, I eventually came back to reality. Just because many people can't come doesn't mean they love us any less. It doesn't mean they disapprove of our union. It simply means that they can't come, and I don't need to know why. Instead of moping over who isn't coming, I'm just thankful for those that are attending. And I'll come back and re-evaluate our numbers again after the second reception, where hopefully the missing ~60% can attend!

Now, on a more upbeat note, we got some great responses back with our mad-lib RSVPs! The weird and random cards were our favorite, as you can probably guess:
This captures us perfectly!

And sadly, I'm probably more of a snorer in this relationship.

I like the Freudian slip here.

Whoa there. And as an interesting side note, many of the other cards mentioned underwear as well. What's with that?

Bad advice, indeed!

Sak thought I should include at least one sweet one, just so you don't think all our friends and family are abnormal.

Anyway, I'm really glad we did the mad-libs, even though not everyone filled them out. Oh, and speaking of not filling things out - of the 115 invitations we sent out, we had 50 not respond either by card or the wedding website. That's a whole 43% that we had to call and e-mail for an answer. And Sak would like me to mention that the lack of etiquette came predominantly from one person's side of the family. And that person shall remain nameless.

What kind of numbers do you expect? Did they turn out like you thought? And can anyone beat my 40% for worst acceptance percentage?


  1. I love those mad-lib cards! Such a great idea, and what cute responses you received :)

    Keeping my fingers crossed that your remaining 60% make it to your California reception in October!

  2. Penga, I am loving reading your blog! In fact, I stayed up (way too late) last night starting from the beginning because I just couldn't get enough of the creativity and DIY projects! Geez, you're making the rest of us look bad!

    Anyways, we're about 2 weeks from our RSVP deadline and about 1/2 of the people replied. I'm a bit surprised not by the numbers of RSVPs but rather those who RSVP'd yes vs. no. We actually did a pretty good job (thus far) approximating who was a "definite", a "maybe" or a "no." But it seems like there are more maybes coming (including family/friends who have to make a long drive/flight) and some people who live right in town who RSVP'd no for various reasons. My side seems to be better at RSVPing than my fiance's, even though they mostly live in the city that we're having the wedding at. Go figure! And while I thought that it would be lopsided in his favor (since my guests have longer distances to travel and my family is smaller) the acceptance rate so far is pretty equal.

    Anyways, I think that your total guest list for the Hawaii wedding is pretty much perfect. We're hoping to have about 100 at ours - it remains cozy without being too small, in my opinion. And your party in California will allow so many others to celebrate!

    By the way - the mad libs was awesome-tastic!

  3. Cute mad libs!

    That's a shame about all the declines. I'm keeping a really small guest list, so I'm hoping most of them can make it!

  4. Ditto Ditto Ditto.
    My family was horrible with RSVP's and my mom's ENTIRE family said no. (Mostly for good reasons, they're old an live far away from Florida.) Either way, it hurt but looking back it was perfect so I wouldn't have it any other way!!

    (Our percentages of Florida vs. Out of State and overall are all almost the same so trust me, you're not in that boat alone!)

  5. I hope that RSVP result won't happen to mine. I think your mad-libs are cute. I think they'll also do for guest book pages, instead of the typical, blank page waiting for the guest to write the typical "best wishes."