Sewn Together: Communal Dressing

Makeup set, we kicked the guys out of the suite for some alone time with the white & fluffy.

I snaked into our home-made, two-piece skirt in less than a minute, not cute or bridally at all.

I needed some future-mother-in-law help getting the crinoline in place.

When it came time for the corset, I was pretty adamant that Sak be the one to tie me in. The dress being his handiwork - it was only appropriate.

Plus, I think he's the only one that really knew what he was doing.

And so, Sak tied me into our dress for the last time.

In turn, we helped him finish dressing as well.

And well, we all helped finish dressing each other.

An aunt dropped our flowers off in the meantime, and we blasted the air conditioning in an effort to keep things cool.

Penga-sis was really digging her bouquet. We may or may not have had a few "sword" fights with them.

And lastly, we put on our fancy shoes.

And remembered to stash our wedding bands with us.

All dressed up with a few pre-wedding hours to kill, it was now off to get some proof that we were actually married in Hawaii.

(All images by Terra Photography)

Our wedding week in review:

• We took care of some last minute DIY details, and officialized everything.
• We vacationed with our out-of-towners, and threw a yummy welcome beach brunch.
• Sak saluted an angry dragon during our wedding rehearsal, and we sniffed at our dinner.
• Wal-Mart crashed my bachelorette.
• Four non-makeup wearing women magically transformed.

Choosing the Cheongsam

Simply put, I need a cheongsam/qi pao/Chinese dress to wear at both our receptions.

(source)

Unsimply put, I haven't really started looking for one yet.

Obvious, right? Go to Chinatown and buy one. Well, I sort of tried. But I got lost in the chaos by myself. Plus I'm deathly afraid of the store owners since a) I don't speak the language b) I kind of, uh, don't know what the heck I am doing, and c) I read on Yelp that they criticize you if you're fat. Well, okay, because of letter "a", I probably wouldn't know they were criticizing me, but still!

So bring my mom with me, then? Well, she doesn't speak Mandarin/Cantonese/etc. either. My plan was to bring my grandmother. Her answer? Ask your aunt. Urgh. Apparently no one else wants to deal with this either.

However, she also advised me to draw out what I wanted in a gown beforehand, so I'd know what to look for. Okay, I can do that!

1) Must be red. Aside from being one of our wedding colors, it's also considered lucky. Not that I believe in color-luck, but that's besides the point.
2) Must be the floor length 1-piece kind. You know, the kind with the sexy thigh-slit up the side?
3) Dragon and phoenix print is preferred. Cause who doesn't love dragons? Plus they are traditional wedding symbols.
4) Must not be super expensive. Nothing more costly than my wedding dress, so that means a less-than-$300 budget.
5) Must be the sleeveless halter style. The traditional look with the sleeves makes this wide-shouldered-penga look like a big brocaded box! Not so fun.

Something like this, only imagine that there's a big gold dragon on it somewhere:


So now I turn to you, readers. Help? Where can I find this? Do I *have* to go to the scary-dress-shop-ladies? Does anyone want to go with me and hold my hand? Is it okay to buy online, or is that too risky? Should I just buy a pre-made dress and alter it myself?

Any other half-Chinese girls out there looking for a dress but too afraid that your not-so-petite torso won't fit in the tight silk? Erm, that's a little specific. I'll try again:

Anyone else wearing a traditional cultural dress? How did you and your dress meet?

I Can Get Married Now

We've come a long way. From our completed mock-up to pre-dress jitters to an unholy stain-induced meltdown, we've seen it all.

And I have a confession - we actually finished the dress a week ago. However, I wanted to wait until Mother's Day to try on the whole ensemble. Since Mom wasn't able to experience the whole mother-daughter dress-search bonding like you see on Say Yes to the Dress, I at least wanted her to be the first to lay eyes on our finished project.

It's no easy matter to photograph a white girl in a white dress, it seems. But not impossible, thanks to my patient father who sat through my incoherent diva-demands. So with no further rambling, here is our $300, 5 week-long project. Our labor of love: my dress.

The bridal portrait glamour shot!

A little back action. (There's actually a sheet tucked under the hem, keeping the dress away from the grass stains!)

Practicing with a bouquet made of roses (that we later gave to my grandmother for Mother's Day).

A cluster of fabric flowers, crawling up the shoulder. Interestingly, the strap can go on either side of the dress, and is also removeable!

A little angle to show off those pick-ups!

We didn't change too much from the first mock-up. Although (to my delight), Sak did take it in several inches! There is really no room for weight gain now, so I've got to stay active in the couple months remaining!

Under the skirt is a crinoline I bought for about $30, to give the skirt some fullness. I haven't added any fabric flowers to the back of the skirt yet - and I'm not sure if I will. I couldn't figure out where to place them so they looked like part of the dress. They might have to stay out. Maybe I'll use the extras to decorate my hard hat instead!


Later that day we went to visit my grandmother, and I tried the dress on once more.

Sak, standing by anxiously as Penga-Grandmother checks his work!

She gave us the thumbs up, much to our satisfaction!

Team sewing, for the win!

Oh - and am I happy about my dress? I think this goofy face says it all:

What am I doing? Scratching my bum? How awkward.

How'd it feel to finally put your perfect and fitted dress on? Did it give you tears of joy? Jumping jacks of exuberance? Shimmy-ing of sassiness? Karate kicks of pure adrenaline? Or an itchy bum*?

*Just kidding, I'm really just holding my train off the floor. No bustle in place yet.

Dress Code

Rehearsal dinner dress, wedding dress, cultural dress, get-away dress, honeymoon dresses. I never really thought I'd have to think about so many dresses.

Then after thinking about the dress, there's what goes with the dress, under the dress, on the feet and in the hair. And I don't even have a fleet of bridesmaids or flower girls to dress, like many other brides do.

(source)

But if that wasn't enough work, I've also started receiving questions like the following:

Penga-bro: Can I wear my Rainbows instead of normal shoes?

(source)

Penga-dad: Do I have to wear a suit? It'll be hot!

Penga-mom: How about this dress? Is it flattering? Or should I wear a muumuu instead?

Guest-friend-1: I don't have a French cuff shirt, is that a problem?

(source)

Saka-mom: What color is Penga-mom wearing?

Penga-mom: How about this one? Do you think I can lose two sizes before the wedding?

Penga-sis: I'm going to wear jeans.

Guest-friend-2: Is there a dress code?

Guest-friend-3: Penga-mom and I are going to water aerobics to get fit before we buy dresses.

(source)

Penga-sis: Nevermind, I'm going to wear my bathing suit instead so I can go swimming later.

Saka-bro: Do you think my butt is too flat for these pants?

Penga-mom: Maybe this one instead? Does it need to match the wedding colors?

Penga-bro: Can I bring my Jason Mraz hat?

(source)

Honestly, I don't really care what anyone wears, with the exception of the Jason Mraz hat. (Please Penga-bro, don't do it!)

Sak interestingly enough, has expressed an opinion. He expects everyone to show up fancy. Nice button-up collared shirts, maybe with a tie, or maybe just a silk Aloha shirt. Combed hair and shoes that aren't full of sand. No one other than me wearing white. Everyone remembering their deodorant. All the usual stuff.

However, since I don't care what anyone decides to wear (or not wear), and Sak will probably never express his opinion on formality to anyone besides me - we're just going to be surprised. I have strange day-dreams sometimes that everyone will come in cosplay. That would be amazing - the best breach of black tie that I can imagine.
One good thing that all these clothing-related comments tell me though - everyone is too busy worried about what they will be wearing to notice what I'll be wearing! That means less dress pressure for me, phew!
Are your guests letting you in on their wedding-day attire search? Will you be surprised on your wedding day, or are you opting for the safer route of a dress code?

Unleashing the Bridal Beast

It's official. I've blown my first bridal-gasket. I erupted with earth-shattering, high-pitched screams and wails. Veins, pumped full of blood, stood out at my temples. My fists curled into tightly-clenched weapons of pure rage. Sak cowered in the background, creating a low undercurrent of pleas to calm the catastrophic living-room storm.

Can you guess what happened?

Italian soda. RED Italian soda. Bright red, read it -RED artificial coloring.

ON MY WEDDING DRESS.

Hell hath no fury like a woman with a stained wedding gown. I barked orders at Sak as he ran around the house like a chicken with his head cut off, yet somehow we got to the sink and the Woolite in time.

The better part of Sak's evening, spent scrubbing his soda out of my dress. Luckily, I think it came out, though you can still see faint pink stains on the underside of the gown. After it dries I'll be able to see if there's any lasting damage. I certainly hope not, because blowing one fuse was bad enough.

Chalk this up to another risk for DIY dress-making - fiance hazards. I think someone's getting a sippy cup soon.

Did your dress endure any battle stains, either pre or post wedding?

The Ghost of a Dress

"Excuse me, ma'am." says a great white ghost hanging contemptuously in the dining room. "Remember me?"

Yep. That's my wedding dress. Completely un-assembled.

Why haven't I sewn it together yet? The mock-up turned out fine. I reached my target body weight. There's no other legitimate excuse not to put it together.

But I just can't bring myself to do it.

The cause behind the lack of enthusiasm? Maybe I'm experiencing what many other brides do - the second-guess-fear. What if I don't love it as much as I did the first time I saw it? What if my tastes have changed, and the general consensus really has convinced me that pick-ups are out? What if I haven't lost enough weight, and I still look like a giant next to Sak? What if I do a bad job sewing, and it falls apart while I trip down the aisle? What if it gets dirty, and rips to shreds at the dry cleaners?

Neither does it help that Sak is being oh-so-very-meticulous about the construction of the dress. Even cutting out the pieces took longer than expected due to his demands that each snippet be exact and perfect. Much different than the hasty, but adequate, job we did on the mock-up.

Where I deal with my dress fears in avoidance, he deals with his in impossible standards.

Did I mention that I also don't have a back-up dress? This apparition over my dining table is it. The pressure is on.

And there's really only one way to answer all the "what-if" questions.

So no more hiding from you, wrinkled-spirit in white. I will sew that smug smile right off your face, straight onto my rear end. Just you wait. No looking back, I will begin today.

Did you have any dress fears before receiving your final gown? Did it end up in genuine regret, or sweet reassurance?

Bustle With Some Muscle

Every train needs a caboose. My train will sit on my caboose. Let's talk bustles!

Us trained-women know that we need a bustle to turn our carpet-sweeping drapery into a manageable second-rump. Okay, maybe not quite a second rump, the focus point of all the extra fabric doesn't have to be one's rear.

There's the American/Over bustle - pull the train up, and pin. Pin at one point or many, doesn't matter. (click images for source, of course!)

There's the French/Under bustle - pull the train under, and pin. As many places as you'd like.

And then there's this beauty - no pulling or pinning involved. Just strap the wire cage around your waist and lay your dress on top!

Now, my dress has pickups all over it - which is already sort of a French bustle. So I'll probably just add more of those to get the train off the floor.

Let's try, shall we?

Time to pick that train up off the floor!

First, Sak helps me figure out where all the points will be, sampling them with safety pins.

Now let's try it on and see what it looks like...
Okay, so it's not the best looking bustle ever, but it'll do for learning purposes.

Time to sew on the ribbons! (they go underneath..for a more detailed explanation, try this tutorial.

All finished, time to tie those ribbons together...

Bustled up and ready for the party!


The Halloween party that is, hello steampunk Penga and Sak!


What type of bustle did you use? (If any..) Did anyone else make their own?