Red Paint and White Lies

Right off the bat - our red, black and white color scheme was picked. Because it's manly, easy to find, and it matches our home (as much as one could match a home full of anime).

Done deal, right? Not so much. The bakery asked what shade of red to make our red ribbon. The florist wanted to know how dark a red rose to use in our bouquets. My mother asked what hue of red my sister's dress needed to be. Sak's brother wanted to make sure his red tie matched the red in the invitations.

Okay, he didn't really ask that last one, but you get the point. Does shade matter? It's debateable. For me, exact matches aren't as important, but since they were asking...

"Rice bowl red."


That's the shade of red I had in my head. See, it's all in the same ballpark as everything else:


But even though it made sense to me, the professionals still advised me to go to Home Depot and find a paint color name.

Fine, whatever. Taking the rice bowl with him, Sak went to grab some paint chips. In his fear of being a deviant paint-sample theif who had no plans of buying any paint, he probably looked pretty guilty. When the salesperson asked the shifty-looking groom if he needed any help, Sak made up some elaborate story about how he was going to paint his non-existent home. Smooth. Since, you know - everyone chooses the color of their walls based on their tableware.


Indiscreet red. And with Sak's indiscreet painting-lies, I think it fits in a somewhat ironic way.

So there you have it, four months away from our wedding and we finally have an official color.

What's your official color name? High fives to you if it's completely random! And did you lie at the paint store, or tell them the truth about collecting wedding swatches?

Two Girls and Their Wacoms

This is a bit on the personal note, but I just wanted to say how excited I am!

Back in college I was lucky enough to meet this amazing lady, who was also an engineer, art hobbyist, and otaku..a little like someone else you know, eh? hehe. I even got to be her vice president while she presided over our power engineering club in our senior year! Anyway, I came to know her as "dreamer" and we opened a little art store on Gaia Online...

We had our own little following which was nice, and I would do the line art while Dreamer did the amazing coloring!

We won a huge contest with this piece, which is still one of my absolute favorites!




(The next two were the some of the first I did with the line-art method, before that it was just pen scans!)


*sigh* Good times!

Anyway, the reason I'm so excited is because I got her STD in the mail! She's marrying her longtime bf, J, and I am so happy for them! So I'm saving the date for sure! :D

Photography: Normalizing the Differences

"But you know, he can't carry you across the threshold.."

"Shaddduppp, Dad."

Love comes in all shapes and sizes. I know that firsthand, seeing as I am both two inches taller and several inches wider than my husband-to-be.

When we first started dating, I was extremely self-conscious. We didn't look like the ideal "couple" (taller, larger man and smaller woman), and it was hard to break from my depressing self-image. But time wore on, and I stopped thinking about our spatial differences. Sak was Sak and Penga was Penga and silly things like weight and size didn't matter.

Until this:

Our first engagement shots (courtesy of my mother), taken the day after the proposal (at gorgeous Mount Hermon in Santa Cruz).

Suddenly, I swam back to the shallow end. The giant arm, the large pink-purple body, the fact that poor Sak can't even get his arm across my waist...

"Omigoooshhhh I CANNOT be the giant white whale in all our wedding pictures!" I start groaning and squealing about several thousand dollars worth of lifetime whale reminders, while Sak pokes at one of the rolls on my stummy. Not helpful!

Well, a few things happened after that initial freak-out:

1) I calmed down. I am not a whale, I just look like one compared to Sak. If he were the standard of normal-sized, well, I'd have to weigh less than 90 pounds.
2) I decided to start a wellness-regimen. Diet and exercise, but nothing too extreme.
3) I researched.

Truly, honestly, folks. Cameras can make you look bigger than you actually are. And they can also make you smaller, if you play your cards right.

And to pictorially prove my point:

A) High-in-the-Sky (for bigger bottoms)
For more emphasis on your top half, and less on the stomach and bottom. Also works like a charm for removing any hint of a bloated look. And I just love shots of the bride and groom looking up towards the glorious future!

B) Down-to-the-Low (for bigger tops)
This one is a bit riskier, but if you are triangle shaped like I am, it could help make the hips look larger and the shoulders look smaller.

B) Model-Arm
You've all seen it done on red-carpets and cat-walks - lift that arm! Any arm pressed flat against the skin is going to appear larger, no matter how muscular they might be before hand.

C) Groom-Blocker
Got something to hide? Whether it be extra width, or the dreaded wedding-dress stain, use your man to cover it up!

D) Run Away
A simple rule of perspective - things further away look smaller. Why not stand a foot or so behind everyone else? But be careful with this one. Too much difference and you might become too small for it to look natural!

E) Tilt-a-Bride

Turn sideways a little. Again, a catwalk and red-carpet pose. Don't face the camera head-on. And don't slouch.

F) Lover-of-Levels
Use some stairs to fix a height difference. Or sit down, where you're more likely to be eye-to-eye. And if that fails, try the down-on-the-floor shot. (only in a clean place, don't ruin the dress!)

G) Post-Op
When all else fails, photoshop! Creative cropping can cut a flabby arm straight out of the picture. Or if you're really good, you can blur or paint unwanted areas away for good! Though unfortunately, I think this particular picture may be a bit more work than its worth.

Now, I know I'll be happy even if I do end up looking a bit whalish, but it doesn't hurt to have the camera work in my favor, right? That said, now on the list of things to ask potential photgraphers -

"What techniques do you use to minimize size differences between bride and groom?"

Anyone else getting the picture-squeamies? What's your tips and tricks for getting the best possible shot?

The Dream "Dress"

Three of the last four weddings I have attended have involved Asian brides. And you know what that means, right? Dress changes!

Though I may only be half-Asian, I fully look forward to and embrace the tradition of changing one's dress several times throughout the reception. Indeed, I had it all planned out. In addition to my traditional white gown and Chinese cheongsam, I would also wear a uchikake - the Japanese wedding kimono.



Ohh how I shivered in pure delight just thinking about it. It was (and still is) more exciting to me than wearing the traditional wedding dress. And imagining my Sak in his own mon-studded kimono was..well, drool-inducing (for me, anyway)!

(However, I don't think I could wear the hat, as it symbolizes the "hiding of one's horns", a.k.a. the stubborn jealousy and ego of the single woman. It, in a sense, represents her obedience to her husband. I'm not very obedient. I guess I could work on it, but Saka knows my "horns" aren't going away anytime soon..)

So since mom-saka and dad-saka just so happen to be living in Japan at the moment, I called them up via Skype excitedly. His mom answered, and I told her my grand-master-plan involving hundreds of pounds of brocaded white silk.

She laughed.

No way, she said. Wedding kimono are just way too expensive. Even more expensive than western gowns. And besides, they take hours to put on, when would I have time for that at the reception?

Perhaps noting my crest-fallen face through the webcam, she gave me the name of a rental store on Oahu, suggesting that we might be able to rent for pictures before the wedding.

So all was not lost.

I looked the rental store up, fell quickly in love with their options, and then looked at the prices.

Seven-hundred-and-fifty dollars. Over seven times the cost of my home-made gown. For a rental. That you don't even get to take out of the store. $750 for both bride and groom to be dressed up, traditionally styled, and taken pictures of in their photo studio. That means I wouldn't get pictures in front of here:

The beautiful Byodo-in temple. (Brother-Sak and Sak pose in the foreground)

I whined for a few days, but the Japan-phile in me is far from giving up. If I can't wear the uchikake, I can at least wear some other type of kimono, right?

My second option is the furisode - it still has the beautiful brocade silk, but minus the bridal "umph".


And the third choice, which Sak has already asked his parents to look into sending, is the yukata. No pretty silk, but rather a summery cotton. It will work for engagment photos, but I wouldn't wear it in the reception dress-changing fest. We can, however, reuse them after for all those summer obon festivals!


So will I find something to wear for the reception? Or will I be stuck as a two-dress bride? I guess only mom-saka has the answer to that.

Anyone else wearing multiple dresses during your reception? (Or, does anyone have an extra uchikake lying around that I can borrow? *sigh!*)

**As always, click the images for the source!**

Exclusive Reclusives

It's safe to assume that Sak and I are not overly social people. Since meeting each other, we've pretty much become hermits, caught up in our own little world with little regard to what's going on outside. Young love? Severe introverted behavior? Who knows. That's just how we are.

So how puzzling is it that we'd both like a large wedding?

Large weddings...is it because we're falling for the wedding hype? The idea that bigger is better? A Cinderella dream? For me, it's somewhat just that. The idea of dressing up fancy with flowers and decorations...in a beautiful place like Hawaii..it's downright magical. And the thought of seeing all my friends and family, dressed up and enjoying themselves, it's pretty exciting.

So yes, we aren't social people. But we will be for one day only. This really is what we want. For as many guests to show up as possible! And to have a good time, of course!

A co-worker I had once summed it up like this -

"There's two types of people: those that get energized by socializing with others, and those that use up energy by socializing with others. It's not that either one dislike socializing, just that the one that uses energy has to go home and recharge in solitude later."

I agree with that. We'll save our energy to pass on to everyone, it'll be great. And then we'll be spending three weeks in Japan to recoup the energy a wedding day takes. And I, for sure, won't be able to socialize there. Gomen!

Which are you - an energy gainer or an energy spender? Or are you one of those new sustainable models, that don't use people-energy at all?

A Viable Vision

Whenever I get confused and my brain feels like a pin-ball machine on hyperdrive, I turn to old faithful to bring me back in line: the list. There's lists for groceries, chores, things to do at work, restaurants to try, Christmas presents to buy, even topics to blog about.

"Before you go buying things and spending frivolously, did you come up with a theme yet?" Asks Sak, as I peruse a clearance section at Michaels with interest.

"Hmm. I dunno. Get me a pen and a paper, we'll brainstorm a list of ideas!" I answer, now clutching a completely useless but adorably cute pack of pewter charms.

Sak groans audibly. "You don't even know what you're going to do with those, put it down." Ever the practical man, he doesn't believe in buying things without having a firm scope in place for the items use. '50% off of a ten dollar item is still five dollars wasted.' is his mantra.

Since I couldn't rack my brain fast enough to come up with a feasible idea, I put the charms away. We went home and I busted out a list of criteria for our wedding. With this in mind, maybe I wouldn't be like the hungry person that decides to go grocery shopping and ends up buying way more than expected.

Our wedding had to: be accessible to a large quantity of elderly guests, inclusive to about 150 people, non-touristy, not overly feminine, and not boring. But above all it had to be relevant to our lives - things we love and enjoy. What kind of situation would satisfy all of the above?

Sak and I celebrate each anniversary going back to the anime convention where we met. One of our favorite events at the con is something called "Anime Hell". There's really no good way to describe it, other than to say it's a night's worth of random video clips that only happen to have the words "funny" and "anime" in common.


Our wedding, I think, will be something of a play on that idea: random, but still loosely themed together with the topics "fun" and little parts of "us". (Not body parts, of course.)

In a blurb -
An explosion of artistic pop culture infused with stylized shout-outs to our Asian roots, a touch of the tropics and plenty of things to keep the mind occupied. A night-time affair with delicious island food and fragrant, brightly colored flowers. An evening's worth of variety and entertainment taking the place of the traditional drinking and dancing. Video clips, bingo, algorithm marches and more. We'll mix up old and new wedding events to the point that it becomes a logistics nightmare with something for everyone. (Or at least something for everyone to talk about later on!)

Fortunately, our chosen theme is still vague enough for me to continue to browse random sales racks. I'm glad we agreed on something, it's encouraging for me to have that first building block - the foundation of things to come - in the back of my head as I look at venues and decorations with a better sense of purpose and vision.

What about you? Was theme the first thing you decided on in your planning? Or did your theme evolve from the contracts and purchases you acquired?

A Viable Vision: Prologue

Choosing a theme or overall vision for one's wedding is, I think, one of the most important and difficult hurdles in the planning process. How can anything be decided without it? Especially in this sea of ideas and resources known as the Internet. Without direction, one can be kicking and clicking and thrashing around for days, drowning in color swatches, fonts and feathered-sequined-beaded-lace veils. A centralized idea is the backbone of all future decisions. It's why us cubicle-dwelling corporate folk have bosses, and boss' bosses, and boss' boss' bosses. The high point on the totem pole that tells everyone else, "This is where we are going, get me there."

When Sak & I first got engaged, we went to the library and checked out a DVD called "Wedding Planning for Dummies".

(source)

Dummies, indeed. One of the first things recommended was to take a moment and think about what we wanted our wedding to be like. I paused the video, and asked Sak what he thought.

You're thinking - Hawaii wedding, right? Beach, palm trees, gorgeous weather?

"No beaches or touristy things whatsoever." Sak stated in his 'I am man and this is my unchangeable law' voice.

Well, okay. I could live with that. I'm a sucker for air conditioning, and it'll keep me from turning into a slippery sweat-monster.

I asked what he wanted in place of beaches.

"I don't know. Whatever. Just no touristy things. And I want final veto power on any crazy ideas you come up with."

Vetoes? What is this, a government operation now? In any case, I agreed, but it still left me with the task of coming up with an overall vibe. I turned to others for help. We'd just need one or two concrete ideas to formulate our type of wedding.

"Like Disney Epcot Center, you could do a variety of different food stations scattered around the reception hall, and seat people in different "Country" tables. Filipino food in one corner, Japanese in another, Chinese in another, etc. etc." - Mom. She is ultimately, like any respectable person in my family, all about the food.

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"Build an obstacle course like 'Ninja Warrior' and have all the wedding party wear katanas (swords) and yakuza(mafia) floor length jackets! Then when you exit the ceremony they can line up and make sword arches for you to run under!" - Best friend. As cool as this sounds, I think preventing people from leaving early in this manner might be considered a fire hazard.

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"I once went to a wedding where the couple had a mashed potato bar. They put mashed potatoes in martini glasses and had all the toppings: cheese, gravy, chives, etc. We were all full by the time dinner arrived! Or, you could hire those kimchi burrito guys that drive the taco truck around!" - Aunt. Once again, all about the food. Unfortunately, I don't think the taco truck leaves the L.A. area. But kimchi burritos are oh, so very, very good.

(source)

Three or four months later, we did decide on a sort-of loose theme, which Sak attached his seal of approval to. But I still enjoy hearing other people's ideas. We'll also have an at-home reception in my hometown of Salinas, California after the wedding, so anything is possible.

How long did it take you to come up with a vision for your wedding? Did you receive interesting theme ideas from others, either solicited or unsolicited?